"Good Feeling Times"

Lately we feel very tired.  When your emotions are stretched in a hundred directions, it has the curious effect of draining your physical energy.  It's not necessarily a bad thing.  It's just something we are dealing with every day as we approach our daughter's homecoming.

Today we sat in the doctor's office with Holly, and for our first time ever, watched our baby move.  Hearing their heartbeat is a surreal experience.  Seeing their face, tiny hands and feet in real time...that's something that truly does defy description.  It's like something holds all of your words inside of you, deep inside of you, and you wonder if you will ever find your voice again.  It doesn't seem to matter in that moment, because nothing could explain how you feel.  I covered my mouth with my hands.  I just stared.  We both did.  We were wide eyed and mesmerized. 

This was one of those days where good news was plentiful.  Good news about baby, good news from the agency, good news from a friend, good news from our family.  That's such an incredible feeling.

When I was a little girl and things were going very well, I took a mental "snapshot" of the moment.  I called them my "Good Feeling Times".  Then later when I was sick or scared, I would ask God if I could use one of my saved feelings.  Some would chalk it up to nothing more than an imaginative child, but the truth is it always seemed to work.  Placebo effect?  Doesn't really matter either way.  All I know is...right now I feel as though I'm storing an endless amount of those good feeling times.  I want to share them with those I know and love, and most assuredly, with our daughter.